Letters to the Editor

Dear editor,

I believe the roofing industry is getting kickbacks from the ladder industry to make it impossible to reach my roof without buying a ladder. This is an unfair monopoly, all building should be short enough to get to the roof sans ladder.

Sincerely,

A Concern Height-Challenged Citizen

Dear Editor,

I am offended that you allowed a journalist to write about Christians as Lizard people! Christians have nothing to do with reptiles and, if you were to actually read Genesis, you would see that we in fact abhor reptiles!!

Yours truly,

Karen Smith

Dear Editor,

We need more journalists that delve into the mysteries of the Illuminati. I had no idea they were involved with the Christians! It really is true what they say, Jesus was a lizard man.

Sincerely,

Maple Thatcher 

Dear Mister Editor,

    I am frankly shocked and appalled that you report anything in town BUT our Satanic Stitching Circle! You should be ashamed of yourself.

Sincerely,

Margaret Bumbleton

Dear Editor,

    We of the Holy Demonic Crochet Club want to thank you for not reporting on the Satanic Stitching Circle. Hells knows Margaret and her crowd get enough attention as it is.

Sincerely,

Henrietta Cloverdale

To Whom It May Concern,

    Hell is not associated with any crafting circles. We have more important things to do.

Sincerely,

Samuel A. Tan

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