The Cabbage Chronicler

  Photo by  Jonathan Borba  on  Unsplash To this day, teeth maintain a dominant and pervasive presence across the planet. Their iconic relationship with most mammals, reptiles, and even humans is their defining characteristic, and they remain one of the oldest forms of tool known to science. But what do we really understand about their effect on the human body? Is their existence naturally-occurring, or some form of symbiotic relationship? I'm here to ask those questions. Modern science claims that all humans are born with teeth already formed, lying in wait under your cheekbones, but how can we know that's really true? When my niece was born she didn't have any visible teeth, and even when I poked her all over in the face multiple times I couldn't feel anything. I can feel my own bones under my skin, but not my niece's teeth? Can science explain that? Which brings me to my next point. It is my sincere belief that teeth are a form of domesticated parasite that burro...

  Photo by Peter Kasprzyk on Unsplash A recent study released by the American Dental Association is leaving everyone confused. The title of the study released summarizes the conclusion of the study: "Teeth: What are they good for? Nothing." When reading the study, you can sense that the author was being completely serious in their assertions. As it turns out, you don't actually need to chew to get the necessary nutrients you need into your body. Most nutrients can be fed to you through an intravenous line. This is actually how we keep many comatose patients alive in hospitals. The study seems to have arisen from the repeated difficulty that dentists face in getting their patients to floss and brush regularly. Even this editor has lied on occasion to their dentist about their flossing habits. In response to this, the authors of the study wanted to look into the matter and solve the dilemma once and for all: Are teeth really necessary? Many medical ailments stem from poor d...