EDITORIAL - Teeth: What Are They Good For? Nothing.

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Photo by Peter Kasprzyk on Unsplash

A recent study released by the American Dental Association is leaving everyone confused. The title of the study released summarizes the conclusion of the study: "Teeth: What are they good for? Nothing." When reading the study, you can sense that the author was being completely serious in their assertions. As it turns out, you don't actually need to chew to get the necessary nutrients you need into your body. Most nutrients can be fed to you through an intravenous line. This is actually how we keep many comatose patients alive in hospitals.

The study seems to have arisen from the repeated difficulty that dentists face in getting their patients to floss and brush regularly. Even this editor has lied on occasion to their dentist about their flossing habits. In response to this, the authors of the study wanted to look into the matter and solve the dilemma once and for all: Are teeth really necessary?

Many medical ailments stem from poor dental hygiene. Gum disease, cavities, and extreme tooth decay and replacement greatly affect the national workforce each year.  Our economy is regularly affected by the mere existence and poor care that the average worker gives to their teeth. One could, of course, bring in the discussion of the nationals dental coverage and costs in, but we will abstain for this article.

So what, in the American Dental Associations opinion, is the solution to all of this? Removal of every adult's teeth. Tooth removal, while painful, can yield a multitude of health benefits in the long run. Also, purchasing liquid nutrients is more cost effective for the average American than going grocery shopping, especially for those with teen-aged children.

While the staff at The Cabbage Chronicler are not qualified to make medical assertions or recommendations, we do recommend that all our readers look into this study and see if it might benefit them and their life situation.

~The Cabbage Chronicler Editorial Team

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