Trees Tricking Topiaryists?

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Photo by Mel on Unsplash

Have you ever noticed that trees are everywhere? Their root systems descending deep in to the ground, where no one can see and no one can watch. What could the trees be doing? Scientists have discovered that trees can communicate with one another through their root system, even transferring their remaining energy as they die.

Everyone these days are talking about trees. Trees are great for our eco-system, they say. Trees produce oxygen and clean the pollutants from our air. And trees seemingly do this all for free. I don't know about you guys, but for such a valuable service as removing man-made pollutants, are the trees really doing it for free? And why do their roots reach so deep?

After much digging and research, this journalist has an answer for you, the intrepid reader. Trees are, in fact, IN COLLUSION WITH THE ILLUMINATI. With their deep reaching roots, they are the perfect candidates for the Illuminati to collect precious magma from our Earth's core, powering their space ships, hand sanitizer plants, and scale dryers. Yes, folks, the answer is clear in the mind of this reporter.

TRUST NO TREES. TELL THEM YOU'RE ON TO THEIR SHENANIGANS. THEIR DIRTY DEALINGS ARE NO LONGER HIDDEN IN THE DEEP UNDERGROUND.

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