Cantankerous Character Cures Common Cold

Photo by ThisisEngineering RAEng on Unsplash

The world was struck by awe today when a cantankerous scientist discovered the cure for the common cold. We of The Cabbage Chronicler got an exclusive interview with him today.

Reporter: You are known by your coworkers as Cantankerous Carl. Up until now, you have been known for mishaps in the laboratory. How does it feel to have discovered the cure for the common cold?

C. Carl: I knew this day would finally come. It's taken a lot of time and work. No one seemed to understand. I bet my ex-wife feels pretty stupid now, don't you Susan?

Susan: Carl, I'm busy.

Reporter: Our readers are dying to know, Carl. What is this miraculous cure that you have discovered?

C. Carl: It's cheese. Preferably cheddar. Canned cheddar.

Reporter: You mean cheese whiz?

C. Carl: Yes, precisely. I discovered the cure when I had my own cold 2 weeks ago. During a standard laboratory procedure, I accidentally inserted canned cheese up my nose. 

Reporter: That must have been very uncomfortable.

C. Carl: Absolutely! But you know what, after 10 days, my cold was gone. So there you have it: a legitimate cure to the common cold.

Reporter: Some people have criticized you, saying that the common cold only lasts 10 days. What do you say to that?

C. Carl: I say that they're clearly part of a government cover-up that doesn't' want the truth to be discovered.

Reporter: Thank you for your time today, Carl.

C. Carl: My pleasure.

Photo by ThisisEngineering RAEng on Unsplash